What are the stages of Christian dating? And how do those stages help you define your relationships? In the video below, relationship experts Bill and Pam Farrel discuss the power of human connection, and how it’s important to be mindful when moving from acquaintance to close friendship to committed, connected dating.
Are Your Relationships Defined? [Video]
To keep your relationships healthy, define them along the way in your heart. Ask yourself, “Is my relationship confident, connected and committed?” Watch the video below for Bill and Pam’s insights!
The Stages of Christian Dating
Christian dating (and all Christian relationships) are stronger when you make a conscious effort to define each stage of the relationship. Doing so will help you focus your energy on the relationships most in need of your time and commitment.
Naturally, these relationships can move from one stage to another over time. You can start off as lukewarm acquaintances and end up as so much more. In the video above, Bill and Pam Farrel discussed the stages of Christian dating that can take take your from first meeting to I do:
There’s someone in your life who you like, but who is more of an acquaintance than a close friend. In this stage, take things slowly, and don’t expose too much of yourself. Have a first date, but tread with caution. And when you see that there’s something about them that has you wanting to know more, then you might be ready for the next stages of Christian dating…
This is the ‘getting to know you’ stage. You still don’t know this person well enough to give them your heart, but you do want to see if your values line up. Ask them questions, and spend more time together until you have your answers. Essentially, you’re testing them out to see if they could one day be a close friend (or even something more). Maybe you find out that you don’t really have much in common, and they drop back to being a casual acquaintance – that’s OK. Maybe you find out that you are feeling ever closer – and that means it’s time to move on to the next stage of Christian dating. It’s time to DTR (define the relationship).
When you have been spending an increasing amount of time with someone, and you feel yourselves drawing closer and closer, it’s time to be bold and have the talk about where the relationship is going. Check in and find out if you two are exclusive. Talk about your plans for the future – and, specifically, if you have the intention of (one day) going there together. Have the confidence to bring up the big stuff so that you can have confidence in the trajectory of your relationship.
The next stages of Christian dating are all about making the theoretical into the real. If things keep going well between you, this person will become what Bill and Pam Farrel refer to as ”a connected person” in your life. This means you’ve gone from seeing them as someone you are dating to a partner; a potential mate. You’re even starting to think seriously of engagement. As the video points out, use this stage to reach out to someone in your community – say, a pastor, for pre-engagement counselling. Getting that external opinion from a trusted source will not only help you confirm whether this person is right for you, it will give you insight into the commitment you’re about to embark on.
If the previous stages of dating have shown you that you like each other, and that your core values line up, then it’s time for the big question: can we build a life together? Think long and well about the answer, because when it’s yes, then you two have marriage to look forward to! And it will be all the better because you were mindful along the away, and you took your time defining your relationship. You’re living God’s plan for marriage and for love.
You may also be interested in: Marriage-Minded Singles: Christian Dating That Leads To Lasting Love
Bill and Pam Farrel are relationship experts, international speakers and authors of over 38 books, including best-selling “Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti.” During their 25 years of experience in church ministry, Bill and Pam’s quest to discover how relationships work has motivated them to help singles and couples around the globe. They have numerous books helpful for singles including, “10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make” and the “Before You Marry Book of Questions.” Bill and Pam are the founders of www.Love-Wise.com.