Is there anything more awkward than a talk that begins with ‘I like you as a friend…’? Many of us have been there; but that doesn’t make it any easier when you’re the one letting your friend down gently. So what do you do when a friend develops those romantic feelings for you, and you aren’t on the same page?
I Like You…As A Friend
Friendship is vital in love. And even platonic friendship can have a few blurry lines. Sometimes, the intimacy that you feel as BFFs can spill over and turn from friendship into something more. It’s not a bad thing, but in some scenarios, one person develops feelings while for the other, things still feel platonic. That’s one way for life to quickly become awkward. So, how can you tell someone – gently – that you only like them as a friend?
Create Boundaries Within Your Relationship
There is no simpler way to tell someone I like you as a friend than to communicate that you simply do not feel romantically towards them, nor will ever feel the same way they do. It’s okay to say you value your friendship, but that is all. If the other person can’t respect you enough on your decision to only be friends, then they can certainly leave and you’ll know they only wanted something else.
If you are set on guarding your heart, think about who you are sharing it with. If you’re not a dating couple, be cautious about getting too intimate. Unless you’re both okay with not knowing and somewhat dancing in the shoes of dating, without actually dating, think about making your hang outs group activities, rather than one-on-one moments. Setting boundaries is key: I think it’s best to be made clear from the beginning the intent if it is for romantic pursuit; otherwise, don’t be alarmed if the other person develops feelings.
Communicate How You Feel
It’s important to use your words carefully when telling a friend that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for them. You can let them down gently, but it’s important to also be clear about your feelings. Be honest and say that though they have been a faithful and wonderful friend, a romantic connection is just not there for them. Be clear that a romantic relationship will not be possible, and you understand if that means they need a break from the friendship.
If that person who does see you romantically keeps texting you, talking to you or messaging you about their feelings, reiterate how you feel. Firmly tell them I like you as a friend and request that they stop hoping for more from you. If they don’t respect you enough to honor your request, don’t be afraid to let them go.
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” —Song of Solomon 8:4
There are those friends who are needed, and those sent for distraction. The friend who has developed feelings for you may have the best of intentions, but in the end, you have to follow the Spirit within you and not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. That always leads to heartache for someone.
You may also be interested in: Honest Dating: How To Honor The Responsibility In Romance
