If you’re starting to get into online dating you might have an urge to find and build a new relationship right away. Going through life alone is hard and many people have an instinct is to find a mate as soon as humanly possible. It’s natural. But if you put too much pressure on too soon, your romance can burn out before it even begins. In this post, Divorce Mediator and writer Shelia Blagg talk about why you should take it slow, be friends first, and let that love have time to blossom.
4 Reasons To Avoid Rushing Into Love
In most cases, rushing full-speed into love isn’t the best way to build a quality long-term relationship. Here are four reasons why the fast approach can lead you straight to a speed bump:
- Diving straight into a new relationship doesn’t give you time to understand what you truly need in a partner.
- Picking people out immediately gives you no chance to see what other types of people are available.
- Your desperation for a partner could cause you to behave abnormally or out of character, creating a flawed perception.
- Rushing into a relationship before you really get to know the other person could have terrible results.
Instead, it’s better to treat the potential partners you find through dating sites as friends. When you build a friendship, your priorities are far different from your priorities in finding an immediate mate. You’ll be looking for characteristics you can tolerate for a long time and personality traits that make someone fun to be around. If you allow yourself to be friends first, you’ll also be more likely to act like you, allowing you two to build a sincere bond.
Be Friends First To Find Lasting Love
Now, no one is saying you can only date people in your immediate friendship circle. It’s totally fine to find love online, at church, or through mutual pals.
The crucial thing though, is to take those first nice and slow. Don’t start planning your wedding before you’ve even had coffee together! Instead, meet up and talk to them, get to know them, and only then decide if you want to take things further. If you want your relationship to last the distance, you have to be friends first. For building a quality friendship is the first and most important step in eventually building a romantic relationship.
After you build a friendship, if the two of you are still romantically attracted to each other, you can use everything you already know about each other as the foundation of the rest of your relationship. Building relationships through friendship takes more patience and discernment, but if what you really want is a long-term, meaningful relationship, trying to be friends first is the way to go.
You may also be interested in: 4 Reasons to Marry Your Best Friend
About the author: Sheila Blagg is a Divorce Mediator certified through the Ohio Supreme courts. She writes about online dating and life after divorce. You can follow her on Twitter.
