Is going to church together a date? Moreover, is it a date idea worth pursuing? If someone of the opposite sex attracts your attention and you have an interest in getting to know them as a potential partner, is it a good idea to go to church on your first date? Let’s briefly explore the idea.
Is Going to Church Together a Date?
We all know that being a Christian in a postmodern world, where everyone seems to do what is right in their own eyes, is difficult (Judges 17:6, 21:25), but a new set of challenges arises for today’s single Christians. Searching for an “equally yoked” partner can often feel like searching for a needle in a haystack.
How can you decide if a person is right for you? How do you know if they feel God and Jesus Christ are really an important part of their life or if they are just a casual Christian, attending church nonchalantly throughout the year? Is religion something they simply use as a guideline for their morals or do they earnestly use their Christian walk as a filter to everything they do?
One option can be to attend church with the person you’re interested in. It’s a great way to get to know how someone expresses themselves spiritually. But that begs the question: is going to church together a date? Can it be romantic? We say yes – it can be! Not only that, it’s a great idea for Christian singles.
Getting To Know One Another
The point of a first date is to get to know someone better – you’re trying to understand who they are, what makes them tick, what is important to them, etc. Yet, some say your first date shouldn’t be in a setting where it is face-to-face or interview style. It may make many people less comfortable when they are constantly in front of someone new, especially if they have a romantic interest in that person. Church, however, is a place where you and your date sit side by side. This builds a connection without the pressure of a face-to-face situation.
For those who consider themselves Christian, living a life with the Bible as a guide and authority, a church date has further advantages. For starters, your lifestyle says a lot about your priorities and who you are – for instance, if you want to meet and date single Christians, it’s likely that you’re looking to date those Christians who actually share your values. By going to church on a first date, you can get to know if a Christian lifestyle is important to that person. It sparks the conversation on where church fits into the other person’s life simply by being the focus of the date.
Exploring Church Dating
As a devoted Christian, once you’ve met a partner of a caliber you’re comfortable with, you may consider joining or having them join you at your church. This is made easier when you can assure you and your match are on the same page regarding denomination, devotion to attendance and service, and of course, how they carry themselves both around people they love and during their daily lives. Once you’ve gotten to know your prospective partner a bit more, you can navigate if going to church together is a positive step in your relationship.
Pros & Cons of Church Dating
There are obviously a few different perspectives when it comes to classifying attending church as a date, but because it’s a ritualistic practice, there are some factors you should consider before making it a staple in the overall scope of your relationship.
Pros of Church Dating
- Mutual Faith – Few things are as pure and sacred to men and women of faith as sharing their devotion to God with one another. Even more so, the ability to connect physically can build a stronger bond if you’re looking to grow in the church together.
- Shared Community – Once you’ve grown accustomed to a home church, you’re able to make friends, establish connections, and get mentorship and advice from elders. This can help when reassessing priorities and deciding how to plan your walk with the lord together.
- Connected Background – With a shared familiarity of a Christian upbringing, you’ll feel more accepted within your partner’s community despite being unfamiliar with the people. This can also become an accelerated path to meeting their family and friends.
Cons of Church Dating
- Minimized Scene – While dating and attending church can be healthy for a relationship, you can also be limited in the scope of your partner’s outside life, and the number of people you deal with in the church is certainly limited in comparison to the other aspects of their life.
- Differing Viewpoints – Understanding there are different sects of Christianity means that both individuals and churches will have different outlooks on certain issues. Taking these variations in stride is crucial when receiving opposition or working out compromises.
- Relationship Interference – When you’re struggling through a situation in your relationship, it can be tough to deal with the public reception if news gets out. Delegating how to deal with outside counsel while adhering to shared values is something you and your partner can discuss.
Tips for Dating & Church Activities
Many activities come along with being part of a church community, which means there are various opportunities for you to not only volunteer but also grow together while participating in meaningful activities. Many churches take part in activism within their community, and there can be opportunities to work in fundraisers, active events like 5Ks, or even nature clean-ups. These can be an enriching experience for a young couple and build a more meaningful connection between faith and the compatibility between the pair.
There are also many ways to connect over faith-based activities, such as bible studies, group educational sessions, and even special church-based conferences that can provide both spiritual growth for the individual and joint encouragement for the prospective duo.
From a social standpoint, going to church on a first date can also be appealing. Going to church gives plenty of one-on-one conversation opportunities as well as group interaction. Is your date an introvert or an extrovert? Are they quick to reach out with a friendly smile and say hello or do they awkwardly answer only direct questions and not give conversational feedback?
You learn a lot from how someone talks to others. You get a sense of their personality, their respect for others, and even their level of narcissism simply by observing how they react in a group setting.
Finally, from a spiritual standpoint, attending church together as a first date can be a great filter. If you are serious about finding someone compatible with you and are serious about being a Christian, why not start as you mean to go on?
If the idea of attending church is not at all appealing to this potential soul mate, they probably aren’t right for you anyway. However, if church is important to you and the other person has no desire to go but agrees to go anyway, there is hope. They are obviously interested enough in you, respect you, and open enough to attend church with you.
Everyone wants to date someone who respects their interests and appreciates what is important to them. Even if the whole dating thing does not work out, it’s a way to perhaps introduce the other person to Jesus Christ (Mark 16:15, John 3:17).
How to Make the Same Connection Online
If you’re hoping to create a genuine connection with another like-minded spiritual single, joining Christian Mingle is a great way to get started. Church dating doesn’t need to be your first step because you’re able to engage comfortably through the app to ensure you’re both in agreeance on your values. However, once you’ve established a firm understanding of your agreed outlook, you can connect over faith issues even before meeting physically to see how worship and prayer can benefit your lives.
Start Your Relationship Off Right
Is going to church together a date? Not always. Sometimes, it’s a gesture of friendship – or perhaps the first step of courting instead of dating. But, if you want to start your relationship together on the right foot, attending services can be a great idea. By attending church services on a first date, you set the precedent of what is important to you. It also helps break down some barriers and lets you discover who they are. Why not set the tone of the relationship from the start? Of course, before you go on your date, pray about it and remember:... in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. —Philippians 4:6
You may also be interested in: Why Go to Church? 4 Reasons Church Matters