Fear is the fuel driving our insecurities. It is every whisper in our mind, about why love may not, cannot and will not last. Insecurity magnifies our self-deprecating self-image. It is the way we rationalize every reason we won’t have the level of love we desire most. We don’t allow ourselves to have vulnerability in a relationship because we are so concerned with protecting ourselves from fear. And yet, the most profound love lies just beyond fear. By never challenging fear we seldom connect on the deepest levels possible.
But I have good news; there’s a way to get past those fears. The cure for insecurity is vulnerability. By opening our hearts despite the fear, we find that it’s less scary than anticipated.
Feeling The Fear Of Insecurity
When you fall in love with someone, that love is unique. Only you are able to love someone else in the unique way you can. It is unique to your design, abilities and expression. It is a profound mystery. It is the reason not everyone has the same love story.
Similarly, insecurity is the dark side of your unique makeup. Insecurity can hold you back from the freedom to express yourself wholeheartedly. Likewise, it prevents your love from realizing its true potential.
Insecurity is the false expression of who we are. And creates false narratives that, in most cases, aren’t even real. It is fear in detail.
Vulnerability In A Relationship Is The Remedy
Vulnerability in a relationship is an incredibly powerful gift. It allows us to lay ourselves bare before each other, to connect on the deepest levels possible. But if we don’t realize the power of the gift, we will miss out on its rewards.
Perhaps the biggest rewards of vulnerability is its remedy for insecurity. No matter how powerful and intense our insecurities are, they can never be exposed until they are brought into the light.
Vulnerability calls insecurity’s bluff. When we can expose our worst fears and insecurities, and be loved and accepted in spite of them, the greatest expression of ourselves becomes more empowered. It proves to us that the insecurities were wrong. That the reality we so feared doesn’t really exist after all. Vulnerability in a relationship breaks the chains that hold us back from just being who we are. And until we show up, ready to be 100 percent ourselves, the love we share is only half of what is possible. The benefits of the risk, far outweigh the life less lived, and the love less experienced, by remaining in the prison of insecurity.
How Do I Let Go?
Being vulnerable with someone is scary, especially at first. It requires a certain level of trust. But being vulnerable in a relationship is like building muscle. The more you exercise it, the easier it gets.
Starting out, it is like being afraid of heights and standing at the edge of an open door in an airplane, being asked to jump out. Fear will fight your efforts the whole way – expect that. But letting go is letting it out. It is expressing your fears, worries and insecurities. And allowing others, perhaps even yourself, the freedom to love you regardless. Next-level love happens when you let loose the deepest and worst of your insecurity, and watch it drown in the love and acceptance of another.
Jesus modeled the way by showing His love and acceptance of us, inviting us to throw our fear and insecurities into His endless ocean of love. By modeling what is possible when we let go, and choosing vulnerability, we can replicate the same effect in our romantic relationships.
If you are insecure and afraid, I understand. I have been there, my friend. But I promise you that if you risk being vulnerable, you will experience connection and love on a whole new level.
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