“Can I trust my heart?” That’s the big question in romantic relationships. You would never get into a relationship if your heart wasn’t attracted, but the human heart is fragile and can easily be hurt. And, when your heart is aching, it’s tricky to make the right decisions about romance. Here’s why you need to heal your heart before committing to healthy love.
When Love Goes Wrong
Jason and LeToya were madly in love with each other. The chemistry between them was electric, and it created an irresistible connection of their hearts. They were happy and motivated, and they fully believed it would be this way forever.
It was devastating to both of them when LeToya reconnected with a boyfriend from high school. It started out innocently enough; they reminisced about high school memories and recapped what their old friends were doing. But one night they shared an intimate encounter, and it threw LeToya into a tailspin. She couldn’t believe she got caught up in this. She knew she needed to tell Jason, but had no idea how.
He knew immediately something had happened. Their powerful connection was suddenly replaced with awkward cautiousness. She had trouble looking him in the eyes when she used to be unable to take her gaze off of him. His heart sank when she told him. It was as if the magnetic attraction between them broke and hurtled him into a new orbit of pain, resentment and anger.
They tried to make it work, but their relationship had been redefined in a moment. He was haunted by pictures in his mind of her with this other man. She started every new conversation by pleading with Jason not to leave. The power that had drawn them together was now working against them.
Hurting? You Have To Heal Your Heart
Even though they are not together anymore, Jason is still hurting as he fights to not be bitter. He knows his cautious approach to others guarantees no one will hurt him like LeToya did. He also knows there is no chance he will find a loving partner if he continues to repel anyone who tries to get close to him. He still longs to be in love, but doesn’t think he can withstand another heartbreak.
Like Jason, you need to heal your heart before it can make room for another. The heart’s relentless drive to be connected will draw us into relationships, but a fragile heart will multiply our pain as it sabotages what it desperately wants.
Put Your Trust In God
If you want to heal your heart so it can focus on true love, Jeremiah 17:7-10 provides both wisdom and warnings:
- Wisdom #1: The heart thrives on trust, therefore we must train ourselves to trust. (v. 7) When God wrote, “blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,” he was tapping into the sense of well-being that comes from trusting in God and others to meet heartfelt needs in our life. Despite the risk that we may be disappointed (or worse), trust is a necessary ingredient to a whole heart.
- Wisdom #2: Jesus is the most stable place of trust, therefore our relationship with God must be as intense as the pain we have experienced (v. 7-8). If you want to heal your heart, turn to Him. A trusting relationship with God provides “confidence in him,” which makes us like “a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.” The result is “it does not fear” and has plenty of offer to others.
- Warning #1: We are easily deceived by our hearts; therefore, we must learn to direct our hearts with truth. (v. 9) Left unchecked, your heart will lead you to pain. Guided by the truth of God’s word, your heart can be the greatest motivator in your life.
- Warning #2: The condition of our hearts determines the choices we make; therefore, we must welcome God’s evaluation of our lives. (v. 10) When you give God “permission” to “search the heart and examine the mind,” you let the one who created your heart set you up for relational success.
Your heart is both your greatest friend and your fiercest foe when it comes to finding love and companionship. Give yourself time to heal your heart before leaping back into love. Make it your ambition today to operate with a whole heart.
You may also be interested in 4 Ways To Find Love Again After Past Relationships Have Failed