What Does The Pastor Say At A Wedding? 4 Ideas To Try

My fiancé and I are a month and a half away from our wedding day and currently making final preparations. She is doing the lion’s share of the work, and I’m amazed at all there is do. There are the expected details, like picking flowers and making a guest list. And then there’s the stuff you may never have thought of – like just what does the pastor say at a wedding? Recently, we sat down with our pastor and talked through the ceremony, and what it will involve.

We are blessed to have someone who knows us well performing our ceremony, which means we can request things for him to say too. As we talked through the ceremony, there were several reminders we asked him to work into his message.

4 Things to Ask Your Pastor to Say at Your Wedding

1. “Marriage Is A Wonderful Opportunity To Showcase The Gospel.”

We believe that our marriage is bigger than the two of us. Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…” (5:25). The Bible uses marriage as a symbol, describing the sacrificial love with which Jesus loves his people.

So, as I seek to love Jen well, I’m actually showing our friends, family and the watching world how Christ loves his people. And as Jen seeks to love me well, she will show our friends, family and the watching world how Christians should respond to Christ’s love. Our marriage has the amazing ability to showcase the Gospel.

2. “You Will Need God’s Help To Be Faithful To The Vows You Make Today.”

A second reminder we’re asking our pastor to give us at our wedding is our dependence on God. During a wedding ceremony, two people really make huge commitments to each other before God and many witnesses. They promise to take care of each other and put each other’s needs above their own. These are not just sentiments. They are hard work!

We recognize that we will need the strength and grace of God to be faithful to our vows to love each other well. We acknowledge our daily dependence on him. As we get closer to our wedding day, we are praying, “God, help us to do everything we’re committing to do. We need your help.”

3. “These Witnesses Are Here To Support You Now And Throughout Your Marriage.”

One of the greatest blessings of our wedding day will be having so many people whom we love most all in one place, drawing together to show their love and support for our new marriage. It’s exciting to think about all the people who will be there.

Our conviction is that we should see every person at our wedding (and those who couldn’t make it) as our community. When we have questions or needs, we don’t have to figure it out on our own, but we can count on our community to be there for us. We can go to them for advice and wisdom in a challenging time. Too many young couples today put pressure on themselves to figure everything out by themselves. But there is a great blessing in having a steady flow of wisdom and support from those who love us best.

4. “The Closer You Walk With The Lord, The Better Your Marriage Will Be.”

The Bible includes these powerful words: “We love because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19). We believe our relationship will be empowered as we live in healthy fellowship with God. As a new husband, I believe I will need to meditate daily on God’s love for me. I need to fill my love tank on the richness of God’s love, so I’m ready to love my bride well.

Too many couples believe loving each other boils down to trying really hard to love. But an important piece of the equation is first learning to enjoy the love of God. As we think about how God has demonstrated his love for us, especially in the suffering of Christ in our place, that love will overflow out of our hearts into the lives of others. Jesus told his disciples, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love” (John 15:9). Jesus used the word “abide” to teach us this is a truth we must come back to day after day. The more we abide in God’s love, the more we will love each other well.

So, what does a pastor say at a wedding? Essentially your pastor can use their wisdom and experience to give you reminders of how you want your life – and marriage to be. These are the four messages we are excited to be reminded of at our wedding. Like every engaged couple, we can’t wait to finally be married and come to the end of this season of waiting, but we recognize the Bible reminds us of our dependence on God and that our love is a beautiful gift from a Heavenly Father who has always loved us so well.

You may also be interested in 19 Important Questions To Ask Before Marriage