Does God Pick Your Spouse? How Involved Is He In Finding The One?

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in The Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” And if there was ever a difficult area in my life to trust God in, it always seemed to be my romantic life. But just how involved is God in finding us a mate?  Does God pick your spouse? Or is He involved at all? Should I date as much as I can, or should I be sitting and waiting for The One to come to me?

Being Ready For The One

Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we just had a template to follow? If we could just know that god does pick your spouse, and that it’s just a case of following His directions? Say this prayer, wait this long, go to this place, say no to that person, like these things … and you will cross paths with The One.

If only it were that simple. Often, I wonder that our spirituality is part of frustration. When it comes to meeting a lifelong mate, we want to feel certain we’ve made the right choice. Furthermore, we want to know that the person we choose is approved by God also. Unfortunately, The Bible doesn’t give a lot of detailed instruction on choosing a mate. But there are lots of ideas and philosophies regarding the subject.

Does God Pick Your Spouse?

Many people have met the loves of their lives, in all sorts of mysterious and practical ways. I personally believe that God takes free will very seriously when it comes to love. He will never force one human being to love another. I believe He will go to great lengths to have us cross paths with a perfect match. But my experience has also taught me that to do something The Lord’s way means letting go of control. You must be willing to submit to His process and avoid settling in a relationship, which may be entirely different, longer, more uncomfortable and more frustrating than you had planned.

I believe The Lord is more concerned with who we are than who is right for our love life. Not because He doesn’t care or isn’t interested, but because He understands that unless we become ready first, a relationship with a person He brought into our life would never work out.

Partnering With God

The goodness of God is immeasurable, and His patience is infinite. Many times, I started out trusting Him, but at some point in the process I had a tendency to take back control – usually when I thought it was taking too long. I had to learn the valuable lesson that God could bring a person into my life, just as I had asked Him for. But if I sabotaged the process by taking control, I usually ended up losing it all in the end.

I believe that partnering with God is far more beneficial than searching lone-wolf style. It may not be easier, but it is far more rewarding. The Lord knows us far better than we know ourselves. If we commit to the process and listen for His instruction, He will bring someone magnificent into our lives.

So does God pick our spouse? Yes…and no. Ultimately, it’s a shared approach.

I believe that God is most interested in the value and trust we place in Him. I believe The Lord will move Heaven and Earth to bring someone into our lives and answer our prayers. But we must choose yes or no, and so must the other person. As we exercise our free will and turn to God as our greatest mentor, He can give us instruction and guidance. But ultimately, we decide who The One is.

You may also be interested in You’ve Gotta Have Faith: 3 Reminders That God Has Someone For You