Found it nearly impossible to settle into a great relationship? You’re not alone. Some people get lucky and find a partner they want to spend the rest of their lives with fast and early, but others wade through the dating scene indefinitely, falling short of any meaningful relationship for one reason or another. If you’re asking yourself ‘why am I still single?‘ it might be time to think about what’s holding you back from love – and how to fix it!
Everyone has their own approach, their own reasons, and their own desires for a relationship, but generally, there are five things holding people back from love:
These 5 Things Could Be Holding You Back From Love
1. You don’t know what you want
Wondering ‘why am I still single?’ It could be that you don’t know what you really want in a relationship. You find a partner, and they seem great, but for some reason you can’t quite put your finger on, something seems off, so you move on.
The solution: Take a moment to think critically about your actual wants and needs, and don’t go for cliches. Learn something about yourself.
2. You’re too picky
There’s no such thing as a perfect partner. That sexy, charming, caring, wealthy partner you idealize will never exist. Everyone has flaws, faults, bad habits, and a tendency to make mistakes. If you’re too picky, you’ll never find someone suitable to be in a relationship with.
The solution: Prioritize. Pick your ultimate relationship deal-breakers, then let the rest go.
3. You’re intimidated by commitment
This is hard to quantify, but some people are simply intimidated by the idea of settling down with someone. It could be a fear of getting hurt or a bad experience in the past—whatever it is, it can cripple you if you aren’t prepared to overcome it.
The solution: Sit in a season of singleness for a while, and call on God to help heal your broken heart. With time, you’ll be ready to truly open yourself up to the possibility of love.
4. You aren’t looking in the right places
Moving from why am I still single to I’m happily settled down can often be a matter of meeting someone who wants what you want. If you’re looking for a homebody to spend quiet nights in with, searching for a partner in bars late at night probably isn’t the best strategy. If you want a partner who shares your faith, you’re unlikely to meet them at a wild house party.
The solution: Look in different places relevant to the type of person you’d like to meet. Try asking about singles’ events at your church, for instance. Or turn to Christian Mingle and look for like-minded singles online, with a dating site designed to help Christians connect.
5. You’re too concerned with finding a relationship
It can be easy to let the why am I still single question take over your life. It’s not long before you’re turning every first date into a grilling opportunity, expecting every coffee meeting to turn into a marriage proposal before you’ve even finished your latte.
The solution: Date with a purpose, but don’t obsess over finding a perfect relationship right off the bat. Focus on having fun in the dating scene, and let the rest happen naturally.
Once you know and address these five obstacles to finding a great relationship, you’ll have a much easier time dating—and eventually, you’ll fall into one. It’s not easy for everyone, but it is possible for everyone
You might also be interested in: Surviving Wedding Season Solo: 3 Ways For Singles To Avoid Wedding Fever
About the author: Sheila Blagg is a Divorce Mediator certified through the Ohio Supreme courts. She writes about online dating and life after divorce. You can follow her on Twitter.
