It’s a new year, which means your resolution to find “the one” has recently been renewed. Online dating is a great way to meet new people, but before you get too crazy winking and throwing kisses online, you may want to consider a few modifications to update your online profile in the new year. Remember, first impressions are won or lost in about 30 seconds, so it’s worth the effort to present yourself in a favorable light.
For many of us, creating a profile the first time around was stressful enough, much less taking a second shot at it. But if you aren’t attracting the type of dates you find desirable, then it might be time to reconsider what version of yourself you are putting out there. Have you considered that your own profile might be the reason you aren’t attracting quality dates? Is it possible that more details aren’t always better? Here are a few tips to craft a winning online dating profile.
1. Get Feedback
Ask a trusted friend of the opposite sex to give you their opinion and feedback. Ask them if they honestly find you dateable. Then, check your ego at the door and take great notes. Incorporate any needed tweaks they recommend and be open to their suggestions. Try to be succinct and to the point. Remember, these people don’t know how awesome you are like your pals do. This is simply an elevator pitch – not a college entrance essay.
As hard as it is, try to be objective regarding your profile. Keep it brief and don’t ramble on endlessly. You want to leave a little mystery and a good reason to get to know you better.
2. Don’t Sound Bitter
This is not the place to mention past relationships, breakups or a divorce. Leave out the comments like, “I’m not here to waste time on trivial relationships,” or “I’ve been hurt in the past, so tread carefully.” These aren’t confident and attractive statements and even if they are true, they don’t translate well on a computer screen.
Negativity is not what you want to communicate to the world. If you really feel this way, then consider taking some time to reflect, find counseling and seek healing. You want to be emotionally healthy you when you enter the dating realm – not damaged goods.
3. Choose Photos That Reflect The Real You
Ladies, men are highly visual, so don’t skip this crucial step. A lack of photos suggests insecurity about your looks or that you’re married and cheating. It’s also suspicious and might even make some members suspect that you’re a predator.
Use photos you already have or enlist a friend to help you get some updated shots. Wear a solid primary color and avoid loud patterns. Add a simple close-up and a few full-length shots to your profile. If you are passionate about certain sports teams or outdoor activities, post a fun action shot of you at a game or on your snowboard.
Be honest and post photos taken within the last six months. Another great idea is to change up your pictures every few weeks. Someone new might respond to a different look or scenario and take interest. Please do not post a picture of you 30 pounds ago, and refrain from putting up a Glamour Shot or a photoshopped picture. Keep it simple and authentic; a smile doesn’t hurt either.
Use proper grammar and spell check your bio before publishing. Grammatical errors are not appealing and show laziness and a lack of etiquette. Also, skip the emojis and save those for texts in the future.
5. Let Your Personality Shine
Try to use a conversational tone and tell some stories about your daily life. Humility is key. Instead of telling people how kind or generous you are, share about a real moment from your life. Let the real you speak out loud through story.
If you love coffee and roaming old bookstores, talk about the smells that make you happy and the thrill of finding a certain vintage work. If you love entertaining or going out, describe a scenario that inspires you – friends, laughter, food, etc. When you focus on what you love and what moves you, others will connect to the heart behind the profile.
Lastly, consider engaging your reader with a question to draw them in. For example, “It’s snowing today and I can’t stop smiling. Can’t wait to grab my skis and hit the slopes. Are you a snow lover, too?”
A few small adjustments to your profile in the New Year can do wonders when it comes to first impressions in the online dating realm. And remember, it only takes one great connection to change your life!
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