Marriage Can Wait: Being Patient When You Want To Wed

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Currently, there seems to be a growing number of people getting married too fast or too young. Of course, some might say there’s nothing wrong with believing in love at first sight, taking a risk and following your heart or getting a head start on life.

However, all too often, these hasty lifelong commitments end just as quickly as they started. The rising number of quickie marriages tends to simply result in a rising rate of divorce. That’s why practicing patience with regard to popping the question is extremely important. Here are a few reasons to hold off on marriage until you’re truly ready.

Only Fools Rush In

There are certainly diehard romantics who insist that these instances of rushing in are based solely on love-at-first-sight scenarios. But the vast majority are actually due to a lack of self-awareness, self-love and life experience combined with hormonal urges.  that clash with religious convictions or an unmet need for approval.

These reasons have little or nothing to do with healthy, fulfilling love and the discovery of a divine compliment. In most cases, they’re caused by an unmet need for approval while clashing with religious convictions at the same time. As a result, the marriage is usually based on unhealthy needs and unreasonable expectations, and it eventually becomes a disappointing and dysfunctional experience for everyone.

Love Is Patient

It is important to slow down and take the time to get to know one another in any new relationship. Before marrying, you should know how the other person communicates, resolves conflict, handles stress, etc. Avoid rushing in before the relationship has time to evolve to a point where those situations can present themselves.

To skip the patience and rush to the altar often finds you married to someone who, months or years from now, you may realize you don’t even know or (in some cases) like.

If that’s not reason enough to be patient, remember that even the Bible refers to love as patient. As such, true love will wait, patiently, until the time is right.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait

Though marriage is indeed a good thing, divorce and the issues that arise in a dysfunctional marriage are not. The reasons many marriages end in divorce is simply because the reasons for getting married were based on fears or unhealthy needs, not love.

It’s important to make a lifelong commitment to yourself before involving another person. Give yourself time to understand your own strengths and weaknesses, heal from past hurts and love yourself for who you are.

This takes time, but waiting and doing the work produces very good things for you and your future life partner. Most importantly, your partner becomes a complement to the work you’ve done and the person you are, rather than a broken-heart mechanic or a personal project.

Though it may not always be easy to resist the urge to quickly tie the knot, it’s best to think it through. There are certainly reasons to get married, but it is vital to remember the reasons why marriage can wait. That way, in the future, you are less likely to find yourself discussing with a lawyer why a divorce cannot.

You may also be interested in Do Your Homework: What It Takes To Prepare For Marriage

Toshia Humphries is a freelance writer, talk show radio host, life coach and artist in Lubbock, Texas. She possesses three degrees in counseling and psychology with a focus on addictions and has written feature articles on addiction, recovery and mental health for several publications, including Stages of Recovery, Solo Parent Magazine and Recovery Brands. She is the author of the book - Today Is the Day to Sparkle: Daily Affirmations for Those Who Need to Find Their Shine - and co-author of a curriculum for life skills programs for teens. She has been a guest speaker on Transformation Talk Radio, discussing personal growth, addiction, mental health and wellness and currently hosts Girl Power Hour – a talk radio show geared toward personal empowerment, spirituality, healing and growth.