What To Do When A Friend Develops Romantic Feelings For You

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Many of us have been there; what do you do when a friend develops those romantic feelings for you, but you aren’t on the same page? Friendship can have a few blurry lines when it comes to men and women being friends. It’s not a bad thing, but in some scenarios, one person develops feelings and things can quickly become awkward. So, what do you do?

Create Boundaries Within Your Relationship

There is no simpler way than to communicate that you simply do not feel the same, nor will ever feel the same. It’s okay to say you value your friendship, but that is all. If the other person can’t respect you enough on your decision to only be friends, then they can certainly leave and you’ll know they only wanted something else. That’s the unfortunate risk of being friends with the opposite sex, but it doesn’t mean that it’s always the case.

In a healthy world, a woman and a man who are only friends should not be hanging out like a normal dating couple would, unless you’re both okay with not knowing and somewhat dancing in the shoes of dating, without actually dating. I think it’s best to be made clear from the beginning the intent if it is for romantic pursuit; otherwise, don’t be alarmed if the other person develops feelings.

Communicate How You Feel

It’s important to use your words carefully when telling a friend that you don’t harbor any romantic feelings for them. Be honest and say that though they have been a faithful and wonderful friend, a romantic connection is just not there for them. Be clear that a romantic relationship will not be possible, and you understand if that means they need a break from the friendship.

If that person who does see you romantically keeps texting you, talking to you or messaging you about their feelings, reiterate how you feel and request that they stop. If they don’t respect you enough to honor your request, don’t be afraid to let them go.

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”  —Song of Solomon 8:4

There are those friends who are needed, and those sent for distraction. The friend who has developed feelings for you may have the best of intentions, but in the end, you have to follow the Spirit within you and not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. That always leads to heartache for someone.

You may also be interested in True Friendship: 5 Things All Great Friends Do

Samantha is an oil painter and writer living in Dallas, Texas. She received her B.A. in Mass Communication/Journalism and is currently pursuing her M.F.A in Writing from Lindenwood University. Her work has been published in Christian Woman Magazine, The Good Women Project, Faithlife Women and literary art journals. She works as a web publisher by day, and paints by night. She published her own poetry book, Sands of Grace, hoping to encourage women in their walk with Christ. You can find more of her work at samanthadenisehardcastle.wordpress.com.