Dating With A Purpose: Why It’s Important To State Your Intentions From The Start

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This is for those of us who truly desire a relationship that will lead to marriage. Whether beginning with online dating or dating in person, making your intentions clear is probably one of the most important things you can do for a healthy relationship. There are several reasons for this: you’re not taking up each other’s time, you understand you’re not dating just to date but with the possible intention of marriage, you’re not on entirely different pages, and it could lead to a lot smoother road towards matrimony.

Being Clear In Your Communication

Not only should the pursuer make his intentions clear in the beginning, but he should be clear if he wants to move deeper even while he is pursuing you. It will steer clear from the confusion, the worry, the stress and the mind games that come with not knowing. If someone isn’t making their intentions clear, odds are they may have different intentions or could be fearful in voicing it. I think a lot of us could raise our hands to this. Both involved can get blindsided simply because a lack of upfront communication.

It doesn’t have to be difficult or messy, either. If more people said “I don’t date just to date,” I think we’d have fewer confused and tormented hearts. Also, men often put way too much pressure on themselves with saying the right words, when in reality, being intentional is what women desire from men. Women want to be intentionally pursued, not someone to fill a man’s time with. The same goes for men who desire a godly woman for the intention of marriage.

Creating A Path To A Serious Relationship

Making your intent clear in the beginning is an immense strengthening quality; it enacts a certain seriousness to a relationship that would otherwise be a bit like wandering in the dark. You’ll also both understand that you take each other’s time seriously and you’re truly valuing the time spent together. You’re pursuing each other with the same motive.

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” Amos 3:3

Being upfront and honest will also aid in the process leading towards marriage. If a godly Christian man is intentional, open, and unafraid to explain his pursuit of you, he is also very intentional about marriage. A woman should be just as open. The beauty of intentionality is that it leads to a clearer understanding of each other’s motives. Each person in the relationship should be real and honest about their desires.

Does he or she really desire marriage? Or just a really long relationship without ever the intention of getting married? It’s so very vital to be honest and upfront, because you’d hate to have wasted five years of your life with someone who actually didn’t desire marriage at all. That’s the ugly truth, but the beautiful truth is that God is still sovereign, faithful and very much in control.

You may also be interested in How To Set Healthy Boundaries In A Relationship That’s Just Beginning

Samantha is a Christian oil painter and writer. She received her BA in Mass Communication/Journalism and is currently pursuing her MFA in Writing from Lindenwood University. Her work has been published in Christian Woman Magazine, The Good Women Project, Faithlife Women and literary art journals. She published her own poetry book, "Sands of Grace," hoping to encourage women in their walk with Christ. She lives in Waco, Texas with her wonderful husband, Omar. You can find more of her work at samanthadenisehardcastle.wordpress.com.