Tips From The Bible For Holy Compromise In Marriage


When I married my husband, I knew I’d experience compromise. I, of course, thought of simple things, like compromising TV channels, when to do laundry, how to manage our time and so on. But what about biblical compromise? What does that look like day to day in a marriage?

Clothe Yourself With Compassion

I have done a lot of heart-searching and found several hidden gems in God’s Word. God already tell us to clothe ourselves in attributes that have nothing to do with actual clothing. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”  —Colossians 3:12

So, when it comes to our marriage, are we willingly going to daily clothe ourselves in these things in order to have a healthy, holy marriage? It’s hard to do, but it’s something our Heavenly Father commands we do.

Choose Holy Love

One day, after having my own little meltdown, my husband gently turned, looked at me and said, “We are called to be holy, my love.” He kept on telling me to have peace in my heart, to choose holiness and to always emit that kind of peace-filled holy love out in the world. I ended up having a realization.

Is this what compromise in marriage looks like? Or, more specifically, biblical compromise? When I’m not acting in a loving way in the moment, and my husband is telling me to show love, shouldn’t I tell him, “Well, I’m hurting and I’m emotional, I have every right to be this way”? No, dear friends. I feel like my eyes have been opened up, and God is gently whispering, “Meet your husband with love, and come to me with your pain.”

Bear With One Another In Love

I feel like I finally “got it.” Biblical compromise isn’t an “Okay, well I’ll do this if you do this.” In marriage, biblical compromise is self-sacrificing your own emotions and your own heat-of-the-moment feelings and meeting your spouse with love – period.

One of my husband’s nurses gifted us with a pillow for our wedding gift. On the pillow, the following verse was embroidered:

“Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love.”  —Ephesians 4:2

I don’t she knew this would be our marriage anthem, but we get it, and we daily strive to show this kind of love to one another.

Always strive and desire to meet your spouse with love and kindness, and know that God promises a beauty in our marriages that simply can’t be taken away. Sometimes you need to sacrifice your own fleshly emotions to meet your spouse with grace and patience. The reason it’s hard is because it’s something God calls us to do, and the enemy loves to entangle us in our own emotions. Don’t let it happen; trust God, be holy and meet your spouse with love.

You may also be interested in 5 Ways To Continue Growing Spiritually After You Get Married

Samantha is a Christian oil painter and writer. She received her BA in Mass Communication/Journalism and is currently pursuing her MFA in Writing from Lindenwood University. Her work has been published in Christian Woman Magazine, The Good Women Project, Faithlife Women and literary art journals. She published her own poetry book, "Sands of Grace," hoping to encourage women in their walk with Christ. She lives in Waco, Texas with her wonderful husband, Omar. You can find more of her work at