I’m not an optimist or a Pollyanna. But something happened to me during these last 32 years of “for better or worse” that’s changed my view on what marital happiness is. Over the years, I’ve learned how good our marriage is, how strong my husband’s love for me is, and how much better it’s going to get.
That was one of the first unofficial promises my husband made to me when we got engaged. I was nervous about keeping our love alive and whether we could have that “happily ever after.” My husband reassured me with a sincere smile, “Honey, it’ll only get better.” He promised our communication, our love for each other and our sense of peace about our future would improve day by day.
And he was right.
The following are the four bedrock values that have helped to make our marriage built to last.
Today Is A Good Day
A good day for us is no longer a day when we have absolutely no quarreling or frustration with each other. It’s nice when we have a day like that, but that isn’t the essence of a good day. A good day is more about meeting challenges and getting through any miscommunication with maybe a laugh or a quick prayer where we lay out our concerns we are experiencing.
Psalm 118:24 encourages us to echo the statement, “This is the day that the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” A good day is making the decision to rejoice and press through to the other side of renewed love and deeper trust.
We’re On A Mission
Married life is no longer about the goal of each of us being happy. It’s about whether we are serving each other in love, and then taking our united front as a team out to a hurting world and serving together in some capacity of ministry.
It doesn’t have to be a formal ministry based at a church. It could be that you two decide you’ll host a dinner once a month at your house and invite newcomers from your church. Or perhaps the two of you can “adopt” an elderly neighbor or get involved in foster parenting. A shared mission makes a marriage stronger.
It’s Time For Play
Proverbs 17:22 tells us that laughter is good medicine. We laugh more and more as the years go by.
When I married my husband, he was the one known for having a good sense of humor; he was the clown in the relationship and I was a bit more like the lion tamer! But over the years, my husband’s jovial sense of humor has rubbed off on me. I always had a sense of humor, but now mine is quite developed and very much used, thanks to my comical, sweet man.
It’s About Constant Communication
I asked my husband the other day what things surprised him the most about being married. He said he had no idea how much communication would be needed when he married me. He also learned that instead of fighting the fact that he would have to continually communicate, he’s learned to accept that it’s needed and to step up in this area.
For me, I’ve had to learn to pause and wait quietly at times, instead of always resorting to words to fix a stressful situation. Good marital communication is really about letting the other person know you love them – with and without words – no matter what, especially during tough times.
Customize your own value statements for why your marriage will only get better. You’ve got a bright future together when love is a commitment and not just a feeling. That’s the most important revelation you need when it comes to marriage. Build your married life on that godly truth and you’ll soon have your own story to tell others of why your marriage only gets better over time.
You may also be interested in Everyday Layers Of Love: Simple Ways To Strengthen Your Marriage