How To Slow Down & Enjoy The Beginning Of A Relationship

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Who doesn’t enjoy the thrill of meeting someone you’re attracted to and very much interested in? Unfortunately, the joy of a first date can be tampered by an inner monologue going on in your head. “Does he like me? Is she really interested? Will he ask me out again?” While all this is happening, you can miss out on the actual conversation and forget to be present in the moment.

Then, before the first date is even over, you’re already planning for the next date or even prematurely considering yourself “in a relationship.” It’s easy to want to skip the initial dating stage and rush right into the security of a relationship. But maybe you’re missing out on the sweet first moments of a new beginning – moments you’ll look back on and cherish.

From A House To A Home

To this day, I can still remember the first deep conversation my now-husband, Bill, and I had on our first date. Bill came over to spend the afternoon at my family’s house where I was home on Christmas break from college. We spent the afternoon playing ping pong in our rec room downstairs and then sat on the old couch and talked.

Somehow, we got talking about houses. Well, actually, we talked about what makes a house a home. And we discovered we both felt the same passion for everything having to do with houses: designing them, fixing them up, decorating them, entertaining in them, and making them into a home where love and peace would abound. When the date was over, that first real conversation made a lasting impression – and there was a big smile on my face.

So, it’s no coincidence that 32 years later, my husband and I have moved countless times because we’ve built and renovated numerous houses, have entertained in them and raised our children in them, and made each house we lived in a home. We are home lovers and home bodies. We have a passion for seeing others have happy home lives. We discovered that on our first date in our first conversation.

Daring To Be Yourself

If you dare to be yourself from the very start, your first conversations will be real and authentic reflections of your personality, your values and the direction you’re going in life. This is essential to figure out early on. These initial conversations reflect whether there is a spark of chemistry and a good dose of compatibility. You need both.

Sometimes, first conversations are difficult and awkward, and compatibility might not be obvious from the start. But don’t abandon the ship too soon. Allow for nerves and give each other time and grace to fully emerge. You may have a humorous story to tell later on about how nervous one of you was or how you spilled a drink on the other. There just might be something there, developing slowly, so look to see if that initial connection can overcome shaky hands and anxious nerves. Look for signs of grace, patience, understanding, laughter and joy in those first conversations, because those are the bedrock elements of a loving relationship that makes it for the long haul.

From First To Lasting

Despite early setbacks, you should never try to force a connection. By avoiding the rush to a premature commitment, you’ll give each other time to open up and share personal insights and opinions, your fears and dreams, and your mission in life. These conversations are crucial to see if God is confirming a relationship in the making.

God designed you with a unique personality and way of expressing your passion in life. You don’t need to click with everybody. But when you do finally experience that wondrous connection, you will remember that first conversation. And the one after that. You’ll soon have countless memories to talk about as your relationship matures into something lasting.

Soon, the day will come when you’ve been married for some time. If you’re like my hubby and me, you’ll never stop cherishing how it all began. You’ll have late night pillow-talks as you reminisce about your first dates and first conversations. There will be much to praise God for as you thank Him for turning your first conversation into a lasting connection.

You may also be interested in Falling In Love: Is It A Feeling, Or A Choice?

Lauren Caldwell is a bit of a Fireball, a House Remodeler, Motivational Speaker, Relationship Coach, Wife and Mother of two impressive young adults. Married for over 32 years to her husband, Bill, an ordained minister, she has ministered in churches and spoken at seminars and retreats. With a B.A. in English and Biblical Studies, Lauren tackles the subject of Relationships from a biblical perspective and radical candor on her blog, www.LoveLaurenCaldwell.com. You can also find her on YouTube at her Mother-Daughter Relationship Advice Channel, LIFE LOVE LESSONS