Part of human nature is to want what we don’t have. This creates a lot of false expectation and disappointment when searching for a potential partner since they may not live up to our standards.
The truth is that not many people attract someone that exceeds their level of wholeness (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually). To meet someone on an equal level is often seen as not enough. When you want more than you are, you’re likely to spend a lot of time frustrated and disappointed with your dating prospects.
If we focus instead on shaping our own growth, we will attract someone better because we are better, too. We know we deserve the high-quality person that comes into our life, because we know what it takes to be that high-quality person. I call this “being worth it.”
Being Worth It
Over the last few years, as I learned and made shifts in my own life, I noticed a trend in the type of people I would attract. These days, I wake up, look in the mirror and tell myself “be worth it.” This is a reminder to myself to be all that I know that I am. Be worth the woman of my dreams. Be worth the purpose and calling in my life. Be worth the people who need my help. Be worth my dreams and desires. Be worth the role of a one-day father. And most of all, be worth the death of my Savior Jesus.
Being worth it is not an ego trip. It is not an external comparison to anything or anyone else. It is an internal contrast of who I am and who I know I can be. It is the pursuit of the best version of myself, who I am becoming one day at a time. Being worth it is becoming that which you desire first.
Being worth it puts the focus entirely on me and my ability to control the quality of my life now. It makes me responsible and accountable to something greater, without needing something or someone to make me greater first. Being worth it positions me to attract someone else, who is being worth it. It gives me peace about the quality of a person that will come into my life. I know what to expect from such a person, as I work diligently to possess those qualities myself.
The Law Of Attraction
Often, we wonder why we keep dating the same type of people or keep having the same types of relational outcomes. I have seen this play out in my own life. On one occasion, I had an aha moment.
I was reading a certain book that discussed the law of attraction. The example the author used was exactly what I was experiencing. It shed light on an area of my inner life that was attracting people that had the same behavior. Ironically enough, I was so focused on the behavior of these people that I couldn’t see it in myself, and it absolutely drove me crazy!
After I had this massive revelation, I began to work on that area of my life. In time, I began to attract people that no longer had that quality. This reinforced in me that I was more responsible for what showed up in my life than any other driving force.
Had I not had this revelation, it could have easily been misunderstood as unanswered prayers, or getting the opposite of what I asked for. But when we understand that the Lord works in us and through us to develop us into a person that can attract a perfect match, then our perspective and efforts can complement that achievement. But if we remain focused on everything outside of ourselves as the primary reason, we will only attract the frustration of what we lack.
Put in the work to recognize who you truly are and who you know you can be. Then, who and what is worthy, appropriate and in-line with your best self will be drawn back to you. Be worth it and the best blessings will follow.
You may also be interested in How To Pray Over Your Dating Life