Dealing With A Major Age Difference In Your Marriage

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Age is something we all have to deal with; we can’t stop it, and we can’t change it. So, when a couple has a considerable age gap years apart, whether it’s 15, 20 or even 25 years apart, how do they cope? How do they maintain that same zeal and flame of love they possessed in the very beginning?

Biblical Examples

It takes uncompromising love, strength, fervor for God, and a holy zest for your partner to make a big age gap work. We can look at the strong love Jacob had for Rachel, just by seeing her, and then working for her for seven years, to know that such a love exists and is possible to sustain over the years.

In the Bible, there are several beautiful love stories, but one that always gets me is this story of Jacob and Rachel. We know Jacob was deceived and was given Leah when he had solely worked for Rachel for seven years. “What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?” (Genesis 29:25)

After another week passed, he was then given Rachel, only to work for Laban another seven years. The Bible tells us his love was so strong for her that it seemed only a few days; isn’t that remarkable? “So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.” (Genesis 29:20)

From a Biblical standpoint, we understand that time shouldn’t be regarded too heavily as linear, rather as an allotted gift. When two people choose to love one another, through thick and thin, through sickness and health, they are not compromising their love over time – they are withstanding it. That’s the way it should be until the end, when the wrinkles set in and the lines grow deeper, the hands softer and the bodies wider.

“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” (Isaiah 46:4)

Beauty Of The Soul

Beauty and handsomeness only last so long, and there is a reason God designed the human body that way; so that we would fully rely upon the Holy Spirit to sustain us, and not our bodily appearances, and so that we may pursue the bread of life and the things that nourish our soul, not after things that adorn our exterior flesh over time. That kind of outward love fades, but the beauty within is what will sustain a couple who are years apart, and any couple for that matter. The beauty that requires a soul to fully be reliant upon the Father and to always acquire a holy zest inside for your partner, a zest that desires only goodness for them because of the love they have.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”  —Proverbs 31:30

Having a fervor for God will enable someone to have a fervor for their partner that won’t run dry, even for couples who are in their 50s and 70s at the same time. Because they have never neglected watering their relationship with the Father, they will be able to maintain a healthy, fruitful relationship with their partner in marriage. That is a beautiful thing. That’s something that defies age, something that defies time, and something that only God could have carried through.

You may also be interested in The Top 5 Pieces Of Advice From Happily Married Couples

Samantha is a Christian oil painter and writer. She received her BA in Mass Communication/Journalism and is currently pursuing her MFA in Writing from Lindenwood University. Her work has been published in Christian Woman Magazine, The Good Women Project, Faithlife Women and literary art journals. She published her own poetry book, "Sands of Grace," hoping to encourage women in their walk with Christ. She lives in Waco, Texas with her wonderful husband, Omar. You can find more of her work at samanthadenisehardcastle.wordpress.com.