I want security. I crave it.
Security, synonymous with safety, brings me peace, quiet, calm. Who doesn’t desire those things?
But what if living a safe, pain-free, invulnerable life is not what’s best for me? What if I’m actually a better person when I’m insecure?
When I’m insecure, I shadow Jesus. Closely. When He moves, I follow, because I know that where He walks is the right way.
When I’m secure, I run ahead of Him, sometimes taking the path to the right without realizing He’s veered left.
When I’m insecure, I am careful of other’s feelings. Before I tread over their emotions, I consider my words, my actions, my motivations.
When I’m secure, I don’t always remember to think before I speak, because my heart has switched off its empathy mode.
When I’m insecure, I pray without ceasing, needing to hear His direction in every step of every day. I beg to be used by Him, in His way, and in His time.
When I’m secure, I pray out of duty, when I remember I should, and go my own way. My prayers are me-centered, rather than God-centered. I ask what can You do for me instead of what can I do to serve You?
When I’m insecure, I trust the Lord to draw my life map, understanding He sees things I can’t possibly imagine. His plan is perfect because He is perfect.
When I’m secure, I scribble out my own life plan, taking what limited knowledge I have and filling in the rest with sketchy, incomplete information.
When I’m insecure, I push myself to be stronger, faster, nicer, kinder, more loving. I strive to be a better wife, mother, daughter, friend.
When I’m secure, I coast, not worried about pushing toward growth and change because I don’t feel the drive to let the Lord work in me.
Now that I think about it, security may be the best place for me to live—as long as I find my security in Jesus.
What do you think?