After a very painful divorce and a time where I was just literally surviving while raising my 4 daughters on my own, I felt ready last spring to give dating a try. I had tried dating very unsuccessfully prior to joining ChristianMingle and quickly realized that I wasn’t ready and I had to be very careful with who I dated because it affected my girls so much.
I was pretty much led by God to go online. It was one of those quiet promptings inside of me. I joined ChristianMingle and did the free trial at first. I saw a few pictures and profiles of men that I liked, so I joined for the 3 month period. I met some very nice men to chat with and in the first week or so, Paul saw that I had looked at his profile. His profile was one that popped up as a possible match for my specifications and he sent me a “smile.”
I responded in a few days and then he sent me THE email! I wish I had saved a copy on my laptop. He felt he needed to lay it out on the line, so he did! He mentioned all of the nitty gritty details of his life including where he had been and where he was going. I remember reading it and thinking, “Wow, this guy is honest.” I liked how his pictures made him look like he was a family man as well. He just looked like a nice guy and he is! Everyone that meets him says, “Paul is such a NICE guy!”
I took a bit of time to respond to his email. I was working 6-7 days a week to support my girls and also, I wanted my response to be just as honest as his email was to mine. I was still scared and approached everything very cautiously. I didn’t want mushy overly demonstrative attention, I wanted the real deal and I was willing to wait to find it! I didn’t know instantly from our interactions online that Paul was the one, but I did know he seemed genuine, real, and safe. That was enough for me to say yes when he asked me out on a date after we had sent a few emails back and forth and used the instant chat on ChristianMingle to talk.
When we met on June 3, I was so nervous! I had never met someone in person that I had met online. We met at a coffee shop. He was already there waiting in his truck and he walked over confidently to shake my hand and introduce himself. He opened the door, quickly took his wallet out to pay, and we sat down. It took about 5 minutes of conversation for me to relax. The more we talked, the more it seemed like I had known him my whole life. Our date lasted 3 hours! We decided to continue the date and talked for another 2 hours. We knew that we had lots in common. I knew that he talked more than I did and that’s a hard thing to do! Later, he asked if he could call me and that he would like to see me again. I said “yes”, still not feeling lightning bolts or anything like that but just a strong sense of calmness.
He called me the next day and we decided to meet on Wednesday. We had a great afternoon together. When we parted again on Saturday, he rubbed my shoulder and said, “I usually know by the second date if I want to see the girl again or not and I pray about it and listen to God. I did pray and I think we should go forward. I would like to keep seeing you if you agree.” Never in my life had I felt calmer and so I quickly agreed. We talked everyday from then on and in a couple of short weeks I was pretty much convinced that he had serious potential. He passed my test with my girls and I met his ridiculously large family and saw that this man was who he said he was!
Everything that happened in our dating was set up by God from how he treated me to how fast/slow he approached things. God knew how hurt I had been and where the damage was and guided Paul because Paul listens to him!
We were married December 30, 2012 with 130 of our closest friends and family. My daughters stood up with us and we started a new journey together! It hasn’t always been easy, but being the confident God-listening man that Paul is, we are certain we’ll continue doing pretty well!
We are both so thankful for ChristianMingle for bringing us together.