If at First You Don't Succeed...

How do I forget the past and move on to a better relationship?

In your quest for a Christian mate, focus on what lies ahead. Some singles carry negativity around with them from past relationships. Meeting other people can be a positive and joyful experience in life. Let go of bad feelings from past relationships and move ahead in life. Accept new beginnings with each person you meet and refuse to carry around baggage from your past.

Philippians 3:13 says "...forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Think of your new relationship as a new journey toward better things in Christ Jesus.

What happens if I am rejected?

Phillipians 3:13 says "Forgetting what is behind and pushing toward what is ahead," will help guide you when you feel rejected from an online dater. The good thing about online dating is that you have not yet established a long-term relationship, so it is easier to let go. However, you need to move forward and place your trust in God that He has someone better for you. This is just an indication that the best for you has not materialized yet. Move on to the next single that you take an interest in.

As a courtesy, return all e-mails within 24 hours if possible. Remain positive and seek to inspire as you respond to all emails. One of them may be from your Christian match! Make a good first impression by returning a well-written response that lets you know you are interested. If you find a responder who doesn't fit your qualifications, gently and kindly that person know you're not interested. If he/she insists on corresponding in a romantic way let them know you are not interested.

What if I don't like the person I talking to:

It is not easy when a person you've been corresponding with suddenly lets go and decides they are moving on. If a person tells you they are not interested, just let it go.

Don't force that person to stay in your life. You do not have to respond back. Move on. There are plenty of other potential mates.

There may also be opportunities where you have to tell someone you aren't interested. When you have to let someone go, do not hold these feelings in. Trust your intuition. If it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't. Kindly and gently say, "thanks for the conversation, but I don't believe we are a good match. God Bless you." Move on, unless you and this person decide to remain friends.

Nevertheless, make sure that friendship will not hurt any future relations with others. Let people down easy, but do it in a courteous way.

What happens if the date goes wrong?

If you are not having a good time with this person, consider all the reasons why. Are you relaxed and secure with this person? Beware of any person that is pressuring you to do something you do not want to do. Do not be pressured to move faster then you feel comfortable with. Always remember to bring a cell phone with you in the event you need to call a friend or a taxi ride home. If you choose to not continue to date someone, always leave on good terms with that individual. If the relationship does work out, but you just didn't enjoy yourself, contemplate on why you did not have a good time. Were you too judgmental? Did you and the other person have many things in common? All of these questions can be answered in time. Remember not everyone you meet will be a match!

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ChristianMingle.com strives to add true value to the Christian community by creating a Biblical-based environment that allows you to potentially find God's match for you. Gone are the days where singles are limited to just meeting people through their circle of friends. Now, with the help of ChristianMingle, singles have limitless possibilities to build Christ-centered relationships.

~Steve Komanapalli, Men's Pastor at Saddleback Church, Lake Forest, CA