Success Stories: 2009: Karen & Calvin
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I had been single for eight years when my children began encouraging me to consider dating, including trying internet dating websites! Honestly, it sounded really radical and kind of scary to me but even some of my friends thought it would be a great idea. I was okay with being single and had a full life! I was involved with my children, church family, friends, and work, but the thought of dating kept nagging me. I began to get bold with God and share with Him the desires of my heart. Even if it was His plan for me to remain single, I wanted to be honest with Him, especially in this very personal area. It was extremely difficult to admit to wanting to be married again and having the attention of a man. And what were my chances? I was over 50 years old. Would I take the risk again? Yes, I would.
I took the plunge and signed up for a free membership to ChristianMingle.com, but had limited ability to interact so I committed to a paid membership. Completing a comprehensive questionnaire taught me a lot about myself and what I was looking for in a man. Where were these personal inventories thirty years earlier? During this time, God prompted me in my spirit to pray daily for my husband.
“What?” I thought. I didn’t have a husband.
“God, You mean, pray for a husband, right?”
“No. Pray for your husband.”
Ok, whatever. I wasn’t sure how or what to pray for my husband that didn’t exist, but the book, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian came to my mind and I committed to pray through it. There are thirty chapters in the book, each with a prayer. Pray every day of every month through the book and in the designated blanks for a name, insert, “my husband”. About a year into that practice, I sensed the Lord nudging me to participate in a Wednesday evening marriage class at my church. Seriously?!
“God, this class is for married couples, why do You want me to do this?”
But I did, and yes, there were no other singles in the class. Of course, on the first evening, we were all asked to stand up and share the reason we were taking the class. Sheepishly, “God told me to” came out followed by an explanation of how I felt like Noah must have felt when he was told to build an ark on dry land without it ever having rained. But this felt just as huge in my mind. I was allowing myself to think and dream outside my little self-limiting, impervious box that had been crafted by fear, defeat, insecurity and unworthiness. Wow, this was freeing! Eventually, the box crumbled. I still had no clue as to whether or not marriage was in my future but desired to honor God, so praying and checking for activity on ChristianMingle became part of my daily routine.
One day, out of the virtual blue, I received an e-card from a man in Whitehouse, Texas. I was cautiously interested, but we later confided in each other that it was “love at first click”! We corresponded back and forth for a week or so and then thought we would like to meet each other in person. How refreshing—finally, a man who didn’t just want to flirt on the internet! I was an excited but nervous wreck! By now I had been single for ten years and in that time had only briefly dated one other man. We decided to meet at a little cafe on the afternoon of a major Texas-sized sporting event. What a huge sacrifice for Calvin to want to leave home before seeing the outcome in order to meet me! We each brought family photos to share, and told our “stories”. We “clicked” immediately. We continued dating and fell in love with each other. What a blessing to experience mutual love and attraction at the same time! What are the odds of that happening? Odds don’t matter in God’s economy.
We became engaged and married in November 2009. God’s hand in our relationship is very evident and we are more in love with each other now! It is possible to “live happily ever after” whether you’ve been divorced. I have genuine love, acceptance and passion and I now pray daily for my husband by name!
Karen & Calvin