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Relationships are all about you, but they aren't all about you..

As a follow up to last month's article "Your Secret 'Code' to Playing The Game Right," I have some additional advice for you on how to put The Color Code to work for you in actual dating situations.

Let's face it. You "log in" because you want to be able to "log off" and meet someone in person, right? I mean, if Kip from Napoleon Dynamite can do it, you can DEFINITELY do it. If you understand The Color Code, you will be able to date more successfully than ever before.

The first thing that you need to learn about dating is this: "It's all about you…but it isn't only all about you". Let me explain…

What I'm talking about here is the fact that you are interested in dating because you are seeking to increase your own level of happiness - and there's nothing wrong with that. All things considered, it really is all about you and your life, and you're the only person responsible for making it happen. On the flipside however, dating and relationships involve other people, and if you always make things about yourself in those relationships, you will fail miserably in creating the happiness that you seek.

Balancing Emotional Needs & Wants for Both You and Your Partner

If you have taken the FREE Color Code profile on this site, you have seen that you are provided with some basic information about your relationship emotional needs and wants. This is key information for you to understand what is going to make you happy long-term (Hint: Make sure that the person you're dating can fulfill you in these important areas, or find somebody else!).

However, it doesn't stop there. Statistically speaking, the # 1 reason relationships fail is SELFISHNESS - remember, it's not only all about you. You should also seek to fulfill the emotional needs and wants of the person you are dating (Hint 2: Do this and that person will only want you more!).

More information about the needs and wants of others is available in the upgraded version of your Color Code profile. You owe it to yourself to check that information out. It will do wonders to help you elevate your game.

With the needs and wants of others in mind, the next time you go out with someone, ask yourself the following questions:

  • Does my date work towards or against me fulfilling my Relationship Needs & Wants?
  • What am I doing to get to know my date's Relationship Needs & Wants?
  • Can we fulfill each others' Needs & Wants long term while still being true to who we are as individuals?

It never has to be that one person is fulfilled at the expense of the other. Those types of relationships cannot bring lifelong happiness for either person involved. The best part of truly fantastic relationships is that while two people can be very different individually, when they commit to the other's happiness, they find their own - and magic is born of it.

Know "The Code", and date smart!

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Christian leaders are saying...

As a Christian who was single for more than a decade before I met my husband. I know the importance of staying in Christian community, fostering relationships with like-minded people, and encouraging one another to wait for sex for marriage. Call me old fashioned, but I believe I'm not the only one who shares these values. I am grateful to ChristianMingle for creating a safe and online community for other Christians to meet while finding God's match for them.

~Renee Fisher, Author of Loves Me Not & Not Another Dating Book, San Diego, CA

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