Find God's Match for You

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalms 37:4

Don't Miss a Move

Ever have trouble trying to decipher what your date is really thinking?

MEN, IMAGINE THIS: You're on your first date with a beautiful woman, and you're telling a funny story. She's nodding, mmmhhmm-ing and laughing in all the appropriate places, but her eyes are darting around the room, she can't sit still, and her laughter is strangely monotone. Does she like you? The answer is a big fat NO. Sorry, my friend.

NOW IMAGINE: You're dropping off a date after dinner, you've had a great time, and you ask her if she'd like to see a movie next week. She says, "I don't know." But, her head is tilted coyly to the side, she's smiling flirtatiously, and her eyes are staring straight into yours with a blinding sparkle. Does she want to go? You bet she does, pal!

Ladies, it isn't any easier for you to know what he's thinking. So, how do you figure out what's really going on? Here's the secret: Stop listening to what's coming out of your date's mouth and start paying attention to body language. If you listen to words, you may get stuck with a pack of lies, but body language unconsciously reveals true emotions. It's the lie detector of the dating world. Though gender-specific indicators exist, the principles are the same for both men and women.

So, next time your date has you stumped, try following these hints:

BODY LANGUAGE CUES FROM YOUR DATE THAT TELL YOU…

You're In!

  • Relaxed posture
  • Good, steady eye contact
  • Playing with, caressing or touching objects (like hair, pen, or napkin)
  • Leaning towards you
  • Tilting head
  • Any physical contact with you (like a touch on the hand or brushing feet under the table)
  • Palms open and arms uncrossed
  • Smiling, laughing, joking, or sparkling eyes
  • Talking with hands
  • Giving you COMPLETE attention
  • Adjusting attire, grooming
  • Moving "in-sync" with you (playing copycatshifting or tilting heads simultaneously, same speed of talking, etc.)
  • Dilated pupils

It's Time to Bail!

  • Little or no eye contact
  • Arms crossed, closed posture
  • Tense or fidgety body motions
  • Yawning
  • Neutral air of politeness and no laughter or smiling
  • Too much nodding
  • Tightness of facial muscles
  • Impatience
  • Hand covering mouth
  • Avoids any touching
  • Distractions (eyes darting around the room, flipping through magazine, spacing out)
  • Leaves lots of personal space
  • Attention wanders while you speak
  • Keeps mouth closed
  • Small or normal pupils

One last word of advice: Don't make judgments based on a single cue--pay attention to the whole picture! (You never know...a yawn may indicate boredom, but it might also mean that your date had an early morning.)

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Dating and being single can be tricky for a pastor like me. Christian Mingle is a wholesome and encouraging alternative to the modern dating scene for singles who desire to put God first in everything.

~Rev. J. Curtis Pace, Pastor, New Bethel Baptist Church, Philadelphia, MS

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